November 29, 2013

it is now sinking in. i think.

somebody, please stop it. i think i am not yet ready to digest this.

im not denying the fact that i wanted this before. yes i did. i was so eager then. but time passes, things change, roads have detours.  just thinking of what happens next, my heart pounds wild. i cant even talk straight about it with the people who matter because i am pretty certain i cannot stop  these stubborn tears from falling. in fact, i am trying to defy gravity now. really. i dont want them to see me looking stupid. ugh.  i dont even know what i look like now though im trying my best to look calm and still. i dont want to continue my conversation with my sister; her words pull the gravity even more.

what shall i do? weeks, months, years, what lies ahead?  i never thought it would turn like this. this fast. i believe i can manage, but im not sure how long; now that i am used to a…

lunch break. thoughts interrupted.


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