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why cant i be a good wRiter?

February 12, 2017

i cant write. i cant tell a story anymore. i find it hard to order my mind to organize ideas. it’s dark, an hour or so before midnight. lonesome thoughts should have been starting to gather up and enter my being. with these opm songs on the background (this playlist is on loop for more than a couple of weeks now, just so you know. got the lss from the musical play i watched), composing sad thoughts should be easier. am i being sarcastic to myself? really?

earlier today, i watched the animation an american tail. i have been singing and loving the film’s song somewhere out there for, i think, almost two decades now, but it was only today that i got to watch the whole film. and oh, we share the same age as it was released 1986. i know right, did i just spill that?!! anyway, i liked the movie. family is everything. being apart from our family is totally heart-breaking and it is only them that could make us whole again. speaking of family, i miss mine, especially my mom and dad. i love them so much that i always try to fight back the tears whenever i miss them. ok stop.

after american tail, i watched the 3D movie – the little prince. i know, it was an animation kind of afternoon for me. i did not expect that the film was made like that. it was, yes, nice, but i sort of wanted it to be just a plain adaptation of antoine’s classic novel. nevertheless, i cried. it was when the old man, the aviator, was being rushed to the hospital which was at the same time the realization point for the little girl. i dont know, i caught myself off guard.

“to lose curiosity, it is how we stop growing…” i just read it somewhere and i wanted to document it so i wont forget. if i consistently wonder why my life is still like this, can i celebrate because it means that i am still growing?

sometimes, we have to accept things even how painful it is because perhaps, it is how they are meant to be. sometimes we have to be tough, even if everything inside us wants otherwise. sometimes.

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