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everything is grace

April 30, 2017

when music is life but you couldnt choose which song to play.

something must have really gone wrong.

somethings not right. nobody said everythings gonna be all good anyway.

ive been wanting the days and months to speed up but then my mind struck me with the question, “do you think youd be able to handle all the responsibilties?” my life stopped for a  long moment and all the worries and fears slowly crept all over me.

nobody knows everything thats happening. a few of my friends know some fragments but nobody sees the whole picture. i even doubt if i see it myself. i havent told everyone because im tired of explaining and answering those hard questions (and somehow trying to show that all is fine). do i owe an explanation in the first place? or am i just using an excuse to patch this big black hole inside?

everybody is struggling with something but not everyone looks like it. it is how you handle the situation, or should i say, how you mask the reality. it’s not that you intend to bend the truth. for some it is a way to avoid the unruly threads more strangled. it works for others, they say.

many times i have given the advice of no man is an island, youre not supposed to live on your own – it’s relieving to share your problems with someone or some people you trust. it’s true, ive done that and it made me feel lighter. but there comes a time when you feel so tired and so consumed that expressing whats inside you does not seem to be beneficial and necessary. there comes a time when your brain tells you that youre gonna make it alone; when your optimistic side says that everything is going to be well, that all shall be well.

WHEN?

we are just humans, right? so getting tired is acceptable. being weak is normal. letting it all out and not knowing the answers…….

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