Archive for the ‘journey’ Category


(mon)day off

July 31, 2017

i just finished watching the movie la la land. i so wanted to watch it before but time and circumstances didnt permit.

on this hot summer afternoon, i finally got a chance to watch it as i had nothing to do. all i knew was it is a musical and i forgot all the reviews ive read about it before so basically, i had no idea about the storyline. as the film was ending, i still wasnt sure what was real or not but slowly, i was getting the conclusion. then snap!

yeah, right. what a story. or should i say, what an ending. if you have watched the movie and if you know my story, you will perfectly understand and probably will give me that look and smile.

i havent watched romantic drama movies lately. my choice. dont ask me why because im not sure of the answer either.

i know, it has been a while since my last visit here. i tried to update a couple of times but, you know me.

im good, no worries. it’s been a lot of eating and munching lately. im taking advantage whenever i can rest but sleeping and lying in bed started to be daily struggles and i am looking forward for worse. im not complaining though. im enjoying every inch of this magical period, just so you know. im embracing it with both arms and every day makes me more excited because it gets me closer to the moment when i can finally see and kiss and hug my little one.

la la la…


creamy moon

April 10, 2017

tonight’s full moon made me all dreamy and wishful. as if im not actually like that.

if not the stars, i think full moons are the reason of dreams. tonight i hope to dream what an ideal life is. i wish to dream of the time when i was a kid; those innocent years when all i thought was playing around then at night my dad would carry me from the living room to my bedroom as i pretended to be sleeping (though there might be nights when i really fell asleep while watching the television).

i wish to dream of a moment where im around the people who matter the most to me, even if i dont matter to them at all. i would thank them for just being themselves and ask for forgiveness for being myself.

i wish to dream of a problem-free version of this life, if there is such a thing aside from heaven. why not dream of heaven itself? that would be WOW (and perhaps i it would be ok not to wake up). i remember i dreamt of God once. He wasnt like the image that we know of Him these days but i know that was Him. we had a conversation but i couldnt remember the details. i wish to talk to Him once more. id either ask Him my unlimited questions and stories, or just be with Him, sit beside Him, hold His hands, embrace Him and let His presence consume my whole being.

just thinking about that kind of dream makes me emotional. oh Lord, please let me be prepared even if it is just a dream.



all ways

February 17, 2016

as the caffeine slowly gets off my nerves while a laud on loop soothes my mind and soul…

just a few hours ago, i was telling a friend how i recently started pondering how loosely i live my life, how i see myself as next to a person without any solid plans in life in terms of being successful. to make it worse, i am even asking the world if it is a good thing or not.

unlike most of the people i know, personally and not, i am living my life one day at a time without a concrete long term goal. while some of my friends are now successful in their careers, i stay as a typical office girl. while others are pursuing nonstop education, as if they were born to spend their whole life studying, i develop my knowledge and skills by watching the sunrise in awe and by walking and feeling the cold air on my skin. while some of my batchmates and even those who are younger than me have started to build their own houses from their hard-earned money, my whole life i have lived and is still living with family, contributing an unremarkable share.

seriously wordpress, where is the strikethrough button?

looking back on my professional life, the last two workplaces i have been where i spent my life for five or more years were undeniably satisfying. both i did not expect and did not originally plan to enter but both gave me a sense of fulfillment and purpose. yes, this is me still trying to convince you and myself that having no plans and going with the flow isn’t that bad and can lead you to something gratifying. this is me still bargaining that my being easy go lucky has a hidden “reason” or “purpose” that i am yet to understand as i continue my journey on earth.


all i really want to say is, i may not have a hardcore goal in life and surely im far from being the ideal and perfect woman, but i have my own understanding of what a good and a meaningful life is and Never have i lost my sight on that one happiness that have always, always kept me going.




December 10, 2015

three more blows and my whole nose will peel off my face. literally!

it hurts, you know. if only i could spend the two remaining weekdays in bed, that would surely lessen the pain. yeah, this is just me ranting off this colds. hopefully this wont develop into a massive sickness like the last time. i dont want to be sick. nobody wants to. more fruits and water, please.

so, i was so excited from my last post and whats new? left you hanging again. no updates, no grand stories to tell on how the trip went. and i am telling you now, it is not going to be this one. sorry. but to summarize the travel, it was totally a highlight in my life. life is beautiful, indeed.


love at first sight


hello, you beautiFul thing

October 19, 2015

writing comes easy and natural in two occasions: right before the second of deadline and when you are sad. some may agree and some may not, but to me it seems spot on.

so i haven’t updated this place for a while and i am thinking if it’s a good thing or not. i couldn’t compose because i am not in the state of melancholy, that’s what my mind wants me to believe. even if there are some recent events in my life that are journal-worthy, i let them pass my mind. i have trust issues with my memory so i won’t be surprised if i forget them one day. (though i won’t really be surprised because i wont know that i forgot them because i already forgot them at that time, right?)


i chanced upon this short article, “15 signs you are doing well in life even if you don’t think so” by sarita king, and i slightly  pondered about it. the eleventh sign says, your happiness is real. hmmn, at this time, i am 74 percent convinced that i am not doing well in my life. i got a job, but my heart, body, and mind  all agree that they don’t belong there. i’m in the age where i should have accomplished  something which my family and i should be proud of but i got none. yes, these are just two factors that pull me down whenever i reflect on what i have been doing in my life lately, but wait! at the back of these pitholes, there is a part in me which says, “hey, it’s not all about being successful in all aspects of your life at the same time.” then i think about how lucky i am to have a complete, happy healthy family, some true friends, and a loving and supportive man who never forgets to cheer me up whenever i miss home. then i tell myself, “that is real happiness, right?”

then i flash a smile -a genuine smile which not every human is fortunate to have.

with that being realized, can i claim that somehow i am doing something good in my life even if i don’t think so?

. . .

it has been weeks (or months?) that i am thinking of leaving my work, with or without a new one. being stuck in the four corners of an office for a whole day is not my thing. NOT at all! though the atmosphere in our office room could be a big factor of my animosity. whenever i’m in there, there’s never a day when i dont ‘t count the hours. they say that at some point, it is normal not to know what you want in life but at least you should know the things that you don’t like. i don’t like to be pinned in a quiet box (without any trace of music) where i can’t be who i really am and i do not want to be with people who don’t bring out the best in me. don’t be surprised if one day i’d be jobless again. perhaps that’s what i need, to be carefree and hopefully all the worlds will conspire and let me discern what my true purpose in this life is.

.  .

this weekend, i accompanied my sister to a baby store to have an exchange of item. at the counter, i saw these pretty little finger puppets. the moment my eyes saw them, my heart knew that i like them. i want them to be a part  of my life and now they are. they are six. the prince is shy, he does not want to be in the photo.

still thinking what names i should give them (:

still thinking what names i should give them (:


it’s better late than never. i bought the latest album of jason mraz (uhm, that latest is last year) last monday and the playlist is never ending the whole week until now. i’ve always been a fan and will stay that way until my last breath. his music is one of the few things that remind me that  Life is Beautiful. i hope everybody knows him and his music. all the songs in his yes album are awesome, just like the rest of his songs. i will leave you with this one which is one of my favorites. it’s not the official video; i think they haven’t created one yet, but this one is cute. this is for you (:


chicken wRap

September 21, 2015

i just closed 5 tabs -three of them giving me options and range of prices of airfare from winnipeg to iceland and the other two educating me how to get a schengen visa.

i have been dreaming on traveling to iceland, mainly because of my fascination on northern lights. tonight, after watching (again) ben stiller’s the secret life of walter mitty, my nerves of wanting to go to that beautiful land were electrified. i was equally moved by the scenic shots in the film and how strong the picture connected to the message, which the movie successfully delivered. and obviously, the music captured me (not so new about me).

one part that i love is the conversation between walter and sean o’connell on the himalayas. walter asked sean when will he take the shot of the “ghost cat” which is sean’s purpose of going there. the great but sentimental photographer answered,  “sometimes i don’t. if i like a moment… i don’t like to have the distraction of the camera. i just want to stay in it.” and this is what we often forget, to intimately live in the moment, even if it means setting aside our ultimate personal desires.

to be cont… [1/2]


make it Real: 2014 wrap up

December 31, 2014

and now it is exactly 12:00 am of the last day of 2014. i just finished watching a mystery/thriller/drama film and now i cannot stop these tears from falling. yeah, let us talk straight here, no candy words whatsoever. i dont know why and i am not complaining, but why is it that when it comes to family, people get weak? ok, why do i get weak? imagine, i just literally finished watching the film, i saw a message notification from our family group message, read it. it was from my mom and it is a very casual message about their game in their recent batch Christmas party; that they bought a new “torotot” and she would ask dad to take a picture of it so that ate and i could see it; she wanting not to cook for new year’s eve because it is only her and dad in our home; and she missing us so much. wow, perfect! now i know how to abruptly dismiss the feelings you get after watching a kind of bugging movie.

so because it is the 31st of december, yes it is now new year’s eve in this part of the world, might as well make this a year-end entry. i am not prepared so please bear with whatever comes.

i remember, i started 2014 cold, (the boyfriend and i went to a favorite spot in our home country to welcome the year) and now i am ending it colder (here in the once [that was actually last year only] said coldest place on earth). the other day, 29th, i celebrated my first month here. i was thinking of making an entry for it, but again, i didnt manage. but now that i have the chance, let me try.

11 things i learned in my first 31 days in W, MB

1. the first best friend you will have in this kind of place is none other than, a petroleum jelly. well, a lip balm would do but in my first few days, the latter was not enough.

2. of course if there is the first, there is a second. body lotion!!! i would not have survived my first month here without lotion. or else, my dead skin cells would have flown in your eyes. eww! sorry. dryness is next to ugliness. let us fight it!

3. those movies who have scenes like: main characters walking/playing in the snow wearing just one layer of casual spring-like clothes? THOSE ARE NOT TRUE! at least for me. how could anyone stand more than 5 minutes outside a negative degree weather, wearing a thin layer of clothes?! pardon me, i am not a movie maker.

4. here, you wont get to know the people in the neighborhood. dont ask me why, i dont know either. (here’s hoping that in summer time, i will see some)

5. now i understand why most of the people overseas are active in social networking sites.

6. i already know this and i even stated it here once: sisters are one of God’s greatest gifts. they will never abandon you and they will do everything for you. that is #realtalk

7. going back to movies, now i also understand those english movie lines like: “i have to go! my bus is coming.” “thank you for blocking my way. i missed my ride home!” etc. etc. buses are one major transportation mode here, and they have their Fixed schedules. they will not wait for you, so better be, OOPS! not on time, but ahead of time.

8. you can fairly find anything that you want in the supermarket, but most of the fresh food that you get back home, here they are all frozen.

9. listen and believe to the message of the aircraft captain once you land in winterpeg, “thank you for flying with us & welcome to the coldest place on earth.”

10. in winter time, bundle up when going out; “bundle up” when staying in. you have to be all prepped-up physically AND emotionally. read this: dont swim on your sadness and longings for loved ones. think of happy thoughts.

11. you will get through. whatever happens, believe you will.

whew!! at least my tears got tired. i managed to finish until the eleventh. now im groggy and my back wants to feel the comfort of my comfy new bed. 2014 was a blast. it had some crooked spots but it was my best year so far. [would love to expound on this but my head wont let me. sorry. i’ll try next time.]

so, roughly 21 hours and 2014 will be “so last year.” what can i say? 2015, it’s your time to shine. show me what you got because i am not turning back!

let us spread only the good vibes for the coming year. i feel so positive on this one and i cant wait for 2016 😛