Archive for the ‘la-la-la’ Category


just maybe

August 19, 2015

maybe this is being 29, 

lost, speechless, chaotic, careless

craving for sense and order

but finds comfort in mess.

maybe this is being 29,

psyched for the serious future

but feels like a 22 year old,

aware of the “yolo” life but does not live it.

maybe this is being 29,

working to earn for a living,

and living to earn dissatisfaction in working,

looking for true happiness.

maybe this is being 29,

dreaming for bright days ahead

and not knowing where to begin,

hoping that having a dream is enough.

maybe this is being 29,

thinking that time is being lost

and that there is no turning back.

yes, time is wasted.

maybe this is being 29,

full of beginning but no ending.

trying to be free from a stagnant world,

life is ironic.

perhaps, this is being 29,

amidst all odds

still holding on.

good thing my heart is in an awesome condition.

that is more than enough to begin life at 29.


when 2 lines (and not the rest) of a song capture your whole being…

April 10, 2015

wherever and however you are in your journey in life, do not ever compare yourself to somebody else. try to understand that you have different problems that you face, just like you have different successes that you win. for someone, success could mean getting his dream job after 9 months of search. for you, that would only be the first step of achieving your dream of becoming someone.

you can also think this way. choose a song that you really like. a song that defines your life. a song that embodies what you are going through or have gone through. a song that speaks for you. now, that song in your mind is so good and you are not the only one who loves it. there are hundreds, thousands of other people who also play that very same song in loop the whole day. and like you, that song stands as the soundtrack of their life as well. it speaks for them, too. but you should know, they have a different story than yours.

imagine, eating a banana makes you happy but it makes somebody else sick.

what’s my point? stigmatized. i’ve been a fan of this song since my university days. it is currently playing on the background while i am tapping the keyboard, just so you know. im afraid i dont know the meaning of the song ever since the first time i heard it. i tried to google about it and zoom! people have their own versions of trying to pull a sense out of the lyrics. somebody said it is about a person fighting for a lost love. some say it’s about an illegal love, while others believe it is all about a gay love affair.

definitely, the composer has his reason and inspiration of writing it and the listeners will always have different takes on it. i have my own too, of course. i may not fully get the sense, i tried but i didnt put so much effort in deciphering, but i love the fact that i truly madly honestly enjoy the music. i love the ambience it puts me in and i love the emotions it brings me. this song will always be a track in my fly playlist.

i originally planned to link a video here for easy access, but im not sure if it is my connection that is problematic or it’s the video, or whatsoever. i’ll just copy and paste the lyrics instead.

STIGMATIZED [the calling]

If I give up on you I give up on me
If we fight what’s true, will we ever be
Even God himself and the faith I knew
Shouldn’t hold me back, shouldn’t keep me from you
Tease me, by holding out your hand
Then leave me, or take me as i am
And live our lives, stigmatized
I can feel the blood rushing through my veins
When i hear your voice, driving me insane
Hour after hour day after day
Every lonely night that i sit and pray
We live our lives on different sides,
But we keep together you and I
Just live our lives, stigmatized
We’ll live our lives,
We’ll take the punches everyday
We’ll live our lives
I know we’re gonna find our way
I believe in you
Even if no one understands
I believe in you, and i don’t really give a damn
If we’re stigmatized
We live our lives on different sides
But we keep together you and I
We live our lives on different sides
We gotta live our lives
Gotta live our lives
Were gonna live our lives
We’re gonna live our lives,
Gonna live our lives,
p.s. my favorite part of the song is the humming in the intro. that’s where the emotions burst the most. (whutt?)
#donttracethedotsinmostofmywords #youwillendupdisappointed #whatamisaying
p.s. of p.s. isn’t that weird? you listen to a new song.. there is a couple of lines that you like the most and because of those lines, that song is now your “national anthem” though it doesnt really speak for you in whole. who’s with me?

be my ediTor

March 24, 2015

Mark Twain said:

“Substitute ‘damn’ every time you’re inclined to write ‘very;’ your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.”

Since my last entry, this is my nth attempt to update this place. Why is it damn hard to write these past few days?

Countless attempts and a bunch of drafts in the draft folder. Wanna bet? Despite of those damn good reasons and inspirations to write about, i wrote nothing.

-finally accepting that pms is damn real

-mum and dud still go out for dates (and how i miss them)

-spending the last year of your life having ‘2’ as the first digit in your age

-job hunt frustration and optimism at the same time

-job hunt ended (yes, i am hired!)

-transition of season and how it affects the fashion style

-living in north america, the continent

-passion in writing (can you even call it passion if youre not writing a lot? rather, even if you dont write at all?)

-starting to write my damn first publish-material story (is it damn ideal?)

-forever in love: distance and different time zones dont matter, surprisingly

as ironic from

-that feeling of being ignored after a big E

-how i see myself raising my future kids

-etc, etc.

im not damn sure if all of those were really the attempted topics. some might just be the result of my sleepiness now. also, pardon me for the insensitive use of upper and lower case in the beginning. blame it on my sleepyhead. (huh!) damn!


this is nothing

November 3, 2014

hi. nothing to say, really. really?

it is almost midnight and im hungry.

well, uhm, whenever i think about it, my internal organs rumble. my heart wants to jump out of my ribcage. if only that’s possible, i’ll willingly do it, so i wont feel it. as if im walking on a thin rope between two mountains. oh well.

aal iz well.

ive just read, “the best sleeping pill is peace of mind.”

all is well (repeat until youre snoring)


post script

i know someone who sleeps well. zzzzzzzZZzzzz…




hey, ya

October 21, 2012

it’s been a while, ProTools.



strawBerry charlotte

May 17, 2012

nothing special today, really. but yesterday was. my sister got rid rid of the numbers in the calendar and we celebrated it as a family, though my oldest sister and my brother weren’t present. quite rare to gather us all -the eldest and her family live outside the country and the brother is always occupied with his work. if not, occupied with his session with friends. anyway, yesterday we just ate out (the birthday girl’s treat. oyeah. heehee). and for me, the most thrilling part was the search of the cake.

we were not familiar with the place. in search of the cake that my sister reserved for herself (very sweet, eh), we spent 10 liters of diesel (hyperbole) as we were all saying to her, “that cake must be worth the time and worthy to our taste buds!” and finally after the long journey, we found the cafe. hmm, the place is simple yet elegant. very pleasing to the eyes of a girl like me. ehem, yes i appreciate girly stuff even i believe i’m not too lady-like at times. and their cakes, ooohh made me drooling. of course not literally (my mind is quick in picturing myself in different instances). good thing i was ready to snap some pictures. yay! and my sister’s cake, strawberry charlotte. looked stunning. tasted  awesome. well, it should be. it’s one of the most expensive single cakes i’ve tasted (wedding and grand occasion cakes not included). so, our effort and our where-are-we?-we’re-lost!-where-is-that-place?-that-cake-should-taste-heaven-or-else  moments paid off. cravings? fully satisfied.

first set of cakes with macaroons

sample of their cakes. lower right corner is my sister’s

happy birthday sister! i wish you all the best and every thing that your big fabulous heart desires. stay healthy and happy 🙂



leap leap Leap

February 29, 2012

feb 29, 2012.

just want to document the day. we don’t get to celebrate the 29th of february every year so let me grab this chance.

that’s all. and for the topping of this entry:

freedom in leap day

enjoy the rest of the day!

post script: it’s our 25th month. swag! ❤ 😀